Take it easy on the poor guy, will ya?
"There's this manager of a nearby Kinko's copies who has  let his power (and possibly some toner fumes) go to his  head.
 He is  constantly walking around behind the counter and in the print area like Strother  Martin in Cool Hand Luke, swinging his wide waist around and glaring at the  customers in line like he'd sooner spit than help us out.
 The  crowning moment of Assh*lery came a couple weeks ago when a woman told him that  they were out of 8½ by 11 laminating plastic and asked if there were any more  sheets in the back.  The guy said "They don't make 8½ by 11 sheets of  laminating plastic."  The woman looked confused, since she was clearly  partway through her project and had been using these very sheets moments ago at  the Kinko's laminating station.  The manager eventually said "They make  9 by 11½ sheets of laminating plastic.  If they were 8½  by 11, they wouldn't be big enough to cover the paper."
 Oh  come on.  You knew precisely what she was asking for and decided to be a  bigshot assh*le, didn't you?  It's like your second grade teacher saying  "No no Johnny, you should be asking 'May I go to the  bathroom'" but far worse because at least in second grade you're there to  learn.
 What  if this woman was laminating information on how to dismantle a time bomb, or do  radical esophageal surgery with a ball point pen, and because of your  bigstuffing tomfoolery the patient died in the elevator?"
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...and another!
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...and another!
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"Attention Assh*les on the airplane:  Turn off your  goddamned electronic devices.  
 I  don't care if your seat-back is in the upright position or if your tray table is  stowed.  As far as I'm concerned, those are steps to make sure you don't  injure yourself.  But to the fucktard in the suit who is making a cell  phone call as the plane is taking off, you are potentially  endangering the lives of everyone else on the plane.  And you there who is  pretending not to speak any English while playing your PSP: Why do you  hide your game any time the flight attendant walks by?   Hmmm?  Is it because you know you're not supposed to have it on while the  plane is taking off?
 Attention Humans: You are not special.  These  rules apply to you.  Stop acting like a kid in the back of the classroom  with Coleco football game, or I will take it away and not give it back until the  end of the school year."
 
1 comment:
I personnally hated the as*hole teachers who wouldn't shut up when the bell would ring at the end of class and felt the need to say, "The bell does not dismiss you...I DISMISS YOU!!" Okay...then why the hell is there a bell going off all day??
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